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  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks
    1 week ago

    Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks

    A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’
    1 week ago

    Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’

    Post Content

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile
    1 week ago

    Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile

    WASHINGTON—In an effort to refute what she described as utterly…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series
    1 week ago

    George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series

    SAN ANSELMO, CA—Feeling surprised and delighted by his former employee’s…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free
    1 week ago

    MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free

    NEW YORK—Saying that it was truly sinking in that he…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts
    1 week ago

    Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts

    More artists are banning phones at their shows. The Onion…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent
    1 week ago

    Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent

    INDIO, CA—Stressing that they had to act quickly before the…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’
    1 week ago

    Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’

    WASHINGTON—In a surprising collective announcement that left the American public…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Gideon Spencer
    1 week ago

    Gideon Spencer

    Gideon Spencer, 77, died Monday. The family requests privacy while…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    ‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings
    1 week ago

    ‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings

    NEW YORK—BTS appeared Thursday in an unconventionally tense episode of…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    The Real Housewives Of Rock, Paper, Scissors
    1 week ago

    The Real Housewives Of Rock, Paper, Scissors

    Season Five Reunion, Part One Continue reading on Slackjaw »

  • chortle.blog

    chortle.blog

    It’s me, a guy who just parked outside your house
    1 week ago

    It’s me, a guy who just parked outside your house

    Photo by Anthony Fomin on Unsplash Hey man, is it…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight
    1 week ago

    Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight

    A Caribbean Airlines passenger went into labor while traveling to…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands
    1 week ago

    State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands

    WASHINGTON—In an effort to call attention to a potentially life-threatening…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute, And I Love It When Your Big Bright Headlights…
    1 week ago

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute, And I Love It When Your Big Bright Headlights…

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers
    1 week ago

    NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers

    Following their historic moon flyby, the Artemis II crew will…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
    1 week ago

    Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees

    WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy
    1 week ago

    Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy

    DOVER, WI—In an incident local residents have described as more-or-less…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment
    1 week ago

    Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment

    ATLANTA—In a move widely interpreted as an effort to exempt…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster
    1 week ago

    Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster

    Friends and family of the betrothed traveled from near and…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    How to Teen-Proof Your Self-Esteem
    1 week ago

    How to Teen-Proof Your Self-Esteem

    Being uncool is your superpower! Continue reading on Slackjaw »

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  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks
    1 week ago

    Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks

    A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’
    1 week ago

    Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’

    Post Content

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile
    1 week ago

    Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile

    WASHINGTON—In an effort to refute what she described as utterly…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series
    1 week ago

    George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series

    SAN ANSELMO, CA—Feeling surprised and delighted by his former employee’s…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free
    1 week ago

    MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free

    NEW YORK—Saying that it was truly sinking in that he…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts
    1 week ago

    Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts

    More artists are banning phones at their shows. The Onion…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent
    1 week ago

    Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent

    INDIO, CA—Stressing that they had to act quickly before the…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’
    1 week ago

    Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’

    WASHINGTON—In a surprising collective announcement that left the American public…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Gideon Spencer
    1 week ago

    Gideon Spencer

    Gideon Spencer, 77, died Monday. The family requests privacy while…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    ‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings
    1 week ago

    ‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings

    NEW YORK—BTS appeared Thursday in an unconventionally tense episode of…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    The Real Housewives Of Rock, Paper, Scissors
    1 week ago

    The Real Housewives Of Rock, Paper, Scissors

    Season Five Reunion, Part One Continue reading on Slackjaw »

  • chortle.blog

    chortle.blog

    It’s me, a guy who just parked outside your house
    1 week ago

    It’s me, a guy who just parked outside your house

    Photo by Anthony Fomin on Unsplash Hey man, is it…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight
    1 week ago

    Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight

    A Caribbean Airlines passenger went into labor while traveling to…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands
    1 week ago

    State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands

    WASHINGTON—In an effort to call attention to a potentially life-threatening…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute, And I Love It When Your Big Bright Headlights…
    1 week ago

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute, And I Love It When Your Big Bright Headlights…

    It’s Me, A Short Woman With A Long Dark Commute,…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers
    1 week ago

    NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers

    Following their historic moon flyby, the Artemis II crew will…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
    1 week ago

    Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees

    WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy
    1 week ago

    Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy

    DOVER, WI—In an incident local residents have described as more-or-less…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment
    1 week ago

    Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment

    ATLANTA—In a move widely interpreted as an effort to exempt…

  • theonion.com

    theonion.com

    Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster
    1 week ago

    Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster

    Friends and family of the betrothed traveled from near and…

  • medium.com/slackjaw

    medium.com/slackjaw

    How to Teen-Proof Your Self-Esteem
    1 week ago

    How to Teen-Proof Your Self-Esteem

    Being uncool is your superpower! Continue reading on Slackjaw »

Load More

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