That Reel You Sent Me, The One That I Never Watched, Was Utterly Hilarious

I’m still laughing, so maybe hold off on sending another one

I can’t stop laughing about that reel you sent me. It’s one of the many reels that you sent me that I have not watched and will never watch. Thank you so much for sending me yet another reel!

How did you know I needed it? Am I emitting a Bat-signal for random reels?

I knew from the first glance at the thumbnail that I was going to love it. It showed Timothée Chalamet dancing with a puppy. Or maybe it was a woman vacuuming with her feet. Or something vaguely pornographic. It’s hard to describe, given that I never watched it.

You sent the reel to me at the right moment, cosmically speaking. I was in the middle of my big work presentation. I forgot to put my phone on silent so, when it pinged loudly on the boardroom table, everyone stopped what they were doing to gaze down at the thumbnail of the reel. This thumbnail, as it turns out, was not safe for work.

I now suspect that my work colleagues do not share our special sense of humor. At least, that’s what the HR manager explained to me as she walked me out.

I suppose I could have watched the reel as I wandered the streets, jobless and forlorn, but the tears would have obscured my view.

In fact, rather than spending fifteen seconds watching it, I spent a good chunk of time wondering if I would click on the reel if my life depended on it. (No.)

And yet I am grateful to you for the opportunity to think about how I won’t be clicking on it, ever. This exchange brought us closer together as people. Closer even than friends who share a laugh over a reel. Maybe. I would know for sure if I watched the reel, which I won’t.

If a friend sends a reel but it goes unwatched, does the reel even exist?

Am I a sociopath if I don’t feel guilty about never clicking on the reel?

Did I really get fired over a reel you sent me?

All of this brings me to my plea to you, dear friend, to never ask me about the reel. Let’s just leave it all unsaid, shall we?

I mean, we already know each other so well. At least, I know that you have an unwieldy obsession with video media and too much time on your hands. And maybe a porn addiction. Close friendships have been forged with less.

Ergo, we never need to discuss the reel. Assume I found it hilarious because I did, I really did. Or, at least, I am sure I would if I indeed watched it, which I did not, and never had the intention of doing, not ever, not in a million years.

In the meantime, you can rest well knowing that you brought a little joy to someone today. Except, that someone was not me, and it had nothing to do with that reel.

So please hold off on sending any more reels for now. If you see any job postings, however, feel free to send them my way.

Nicole Chrolavicius is a lawyer, writer and co-host of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Podcast. She hates reels.

That Reel You Sent Me, The One That I Never Watched, Was Utterly Hilarious was originally published in Slackjaw on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.